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Navigating a Post-Current-Pandemic World Pt. 2: Getting Practical

Updated: Nov 29, 2021

Getting Practical: Consent, Boundaries, Communication

*This list is not exhaustive, but meant to be a springboard for healthy conversations*


Consent isn't just about sex. It is important to identify consent and where it is necessary for relationships to thrive in safety, trust, and mutual care.


For those who are navigating helping love those in their lives who struggle with anxiety, those who are dealing with new pandemic-induced social anxiety, and those who are seeking to understand others' better, I have developed a list of ideas based on therapeutic tools for healthy communication in interpersonal relationships, anxiety, and boundaries.

  1. Be courteous and consider communicating expectations before meeting.

    1. Are you meeting inside or outside?

    2. When you get there, what are you comfortable with for with masking or unmasking? Sitting arrangement? Hugging?

    3. Practice vulnerability. Consider disclosing any sicknesses in your house or that you are experiencing. While you and your friend may be sad to not see one another, or have to adjust your plans for interacting, this is trust building openness that healthy relationships thrive on. It is better to tell your friend and risk your plans changing than to risk the trust in your relationship.

    4. When someone communicates their boundaries and what they will consent to, avoid bartering and manipulation. Trying to convince someone their boundaries are “stupid” or that they “should trust you” because you disagree or are offended is not part of healthy patterns in interpersonal relationships. Repair is possible in your relationship if this has occurred.

  2. Talk about what you can do together instead of focusing on what you can’t or won’t.

    1. It stinks thinking “we can’t hug each other” or “so-and-so isn’t comfortable maskless so I can’t see their face”. Instead, talk about what you can do and what is happening. “We can’t hug each other but we can sit together” or “I can’t see his/her face but I get to see them in person!”

  3. If you’re meeting a stranger, create open communication.

    1. Do they go in for a handshake? Politely decline and offer a safer alternative if you are comfortable, like an elbow bump or a wave.

    2. Feel awkward? Say so, they might feel awkward too.

    3. Laugh and make it light, nobody knows what they’re doing and new patterns of relating are hard to navigate.

    4. You’re not supposed to be good at this. This is all new territory for us all.

  4. Consent is a two way street.

    1. This is a time to begin practicing consent in more areas. Just because you hugged each other regularly before the pandemic doesn’t mean your friend is comfortable with that now. Ask questions, and speak up about what you aren’t comfortable with something. Didn’t speak up when you wish you would have? That’s okay, you’re practicing and you can try again. Refrain from judging yourself and judging others for their questions and/or answers. Readily apologize when you cross someone’s comfort level and discuss your boundaries. Respect one another.

  5. Control what you can control.

    1. It is clear that no everyone agrees on things, and that creates division. Unfortunately, that means unhealthy interactions much of the time. Remind yourself that you can only control what is in your circle of control and though you do have the ability to influence others, you cannot control them. Know the difference.

  6. Speak up and don't assume.

    1. Speak up and voice when you are uncomfortable. Just because you hugged your friend last week doesn’t mean you have to this week. Just because you agreed to eat inside doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind when you arrive and request to eat outside instead.

    2. Just because you met for coffee with your friend last week doesn't mean they’ll feel comfortable meeting the exact same way again this week. Be gentle with one another by communicating expectations before every time you meet.


Self inventory: What color am I at today?


  1. Red: I’m on high alert. Being around people is difficult for my mental health right now, please give me plenty of space.

  2. Yellow: please be courteous of my space and be cognizant of my boundaries.

  3. Green: come say hello, but be respectful.


This can be tool used to communicate with your friends, coworkers, whoever you come into contact with regularly to let one another know where you’re at that day so you can navigate social interaction more smoothly. Adopting this strategy is optional, but I encourage you to be creative and come up with something that works for you. Open the conversation up! You can do it. You got this.

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