I loved that I could still see my clients virtually during such an uncertain time. But, I really missed in-person counseling. Though I do not think that virtual counseling is the same as in-person, it is certainly still beneficial in many ways. There are things we can do to make online counseling the best that it can be. So if you are thinking about starting or simply continuing with your therapist but you're not certain about online, keep reading.
Some FAQ on Telehealth:
Can doing online therapy benefit me?
Whether you were already seeing a therapist before the pandemic, or are actively looking for one now, online therapy can be very beneficial to you. There are natural limitations from doing it remotely. But that doesn’t mean it won’t or can’t be beneficial to you. Just knowing that online therapy and in-person therapy are different and understanding that is important.
What if I have never done therapy before?
Maybe you’ve never asked for help before and you’re realizing that you really want this. Maybe it scares you not knowing what to expect. These are totally normal feelings to starting therapy for the first time. First I want to say, great! I am so glad you’re reading this. I think you are taking a brave step even considering this for yourself.
Is it worth it, or should I just continue waiting until offices open back up?
Of course everything is case by case, and whatever is right for you might not be right for the next person. However, I definitely think it’s worth a shot if you’re considering it. So many things have been upended and things, to put it simply, have been so hard and continue to be hard. Very hard. Now may be the time.
Don’t wait to get care for yourself if you need it. We aren’t built to be islands, and the last many months have been especially hard on our mental health. Some counselors are doing in-person again or on a case-by-case basis, so you can ask if that is an option depending on your needs. You can also mix and match online and in-person sessions and communicate with your counselor about what that could look like for you. Other bonuses to online are that you’re saving time from preparing to commute and driving in traffic right now
Yeah, but I could just wait this out some more… I have been online for months as it is. Right?
Absolutely. Life may be even more crazy for you than usual and now is really not going to work for you. Or maybe, you just really don’t like the whole online thing. Especially if you’ve been staring at a screen for so long, you may be asking yourself, “why use more of my free time to engage with a screen?” I get it. Virtual exhaustion has been a huge issue. I’d encourage you to find out from your preferred counseling office if you can be put on the call-first list for when their offices start to open up again, or hop on a waitlist. That way, they can call you ASAP to get you on the schedule when they start seeing in-person, or you’ll be ahead of the game for when they have a spot open up since many offices have been booked for months out.
Okay, I am starting counseling virtually! How can I set this up for success?
Tip #1: Find a comfortable place and gather your things.
Make sure you are in a comfortable, confidential place where you are and feel safe (physically safe, safe from the earshot of others, you’re not driving while you’re talking, etc.)
Get comfy. Sit in a cozy chair, grab a blanket or pillows, your favorite beverage, or whatever else your heart desires. Being in a comfortable space where you plan to do your sessions will help you relax and keep you engaged.
Let your counselor know where you regularly plan on doing your session from. If that address is not on the paperwork you submitted, update them on where you are at.
If you are scheduled for a video session or a phone session, make sure you know which is happening and be prepared for that. If you need headphones, your device to be charged, or your camera and microphone connected, be sure to do so in advance.
If you are scheduled for a virtual video session but would rather do a phone session, let your therapist or their office know in advance if you can. Your therapist wants to care for you the best that they can, and so simply knowing if they are going to see you over video can be very helpful to you and them and you can avoid any confusion.
Tip #2: Troubleshoot beforehand.
Complete your paperwork in advance and make sure it is submitted in advance before your session (48 hours is a good goal to shoot for).
Before your first appointment, make sure you sign-in, create an account, or do whatever you have to do to make sure you can jump in to your counseling session when it starts. To get the most you can out of your appointment, you don’t want to be fumbling around with technology and thus cutting into your session time.
Make sure your internet connection works well far in advance. We all know that technology sometimes doesn’t work well (especially the days that we really need it to work well...), but we can certainly cut down on some of these difficulties by simply checking your connection. One easy way to do this is by going to www.speedtest.net and running a check. Hey, your therapist may be struggling with their internet connection too, there’s no shame in technology struggles. We can still do everything in our power to make sure it works the best it can and it still isn’t great. But we can do what we can!
On that note: Does the room you want to do your session in have a good connection? Does the video and sound work even when the door is shut for privacy?
Position yourself in the camera frame, making sure at least your whole face is visible. Even better if you can position yourself at a wider angle so your therapist can do their best to see you like they would in office (but not so far away they can’t see your face without squinting).
Make sure you’re in good lighting. Try not to sit in front of a window or other bright light so that you’re back-lit, but instead with good lighting illuminating your front.
Tip #3: Work out between-session details.
As simple as this: scout how payment will work in advance. This way, you can focus on your counseling session and not worry about fumbling with your wallet or invoices afterward.
Bonus: Take that extra thing off your to-dos. Ask if your counseling office can keep your payment information on file so that your payment can be taken care of automatically.
You likely will receive a reminder text and/or email about your appointment from most counseling offices. Make sure you check the date and time and add it to your calendar to help you remember and to avoid scheduling conflicts.
Be aware of your counseling office’s policy on no-show or late-cancellations, so that you can communicate in case you need to cancel or change your appointment time. Life happens, and so it is helpful to be prepared for when things don’t pan out the way you had hoped.
Tip #4: Do your best to minimize distractions.
Especially at home, it can be so hard not to have interruptions (kids, dogs, emails, grocery delivery, oh my!) Turn your cell phone on do-not-disturb. Take a break from your work. Communicate to your kiddos that you need that time undisturbed. This time is for you and you made the courageous choice to step into your work in counseling. Give yourself permission to be away from other things and be present with your counselor for that time.
As your therapist, we truly don’t mind life interruptions, we are all human and things happen. In fact, your counselor may be struggling with their barking dog or noisy kiddos, too. We just want that time to be for you and to care for you. Help us help you by taking this step.
Let your counselor know if you’re feeling distracted and it is difficult for you to stay present (or maybe you’re in a virtual tizzy and exhausted from staring at a screen more often). This will only benefit you to be open about where your head is at for your counselor to make the right choices for you for that time.
Tip #5: Find out what you need and learn to ask for it.
Your counselor cannot see your body language and other cues as clearly as when you are in session in person. Keep this in mind, because you may be uncomfortable and your therapist would normally be able to pick up on that, but they cannot see your body language.
Communicate to your therapist about what you are experiencing with the internet or connection. Let them know if you cannot see them, if the sound keeps glitching out, etc. It may feel awkward to tell them, but your therapist will be grateful that they know you are experiencing some frustrating things with technology and you can work on it together.
Talk to your counselor about your fears. Whether or not you feel comfortable talking at your location, fear of your parents listening in, or whatever may be the case because you’re doing counseling remotely. If you do not feel totally comfortable or emotionally safe (fear of eavesdropping, etc), they can discuss that with you and you can work together on those things.
If you’re itching to get back into the office for in person sessions, tell your therapist. We want to know this and probably miss you, too. You can discuss with them when they may be opening back up in the future or what it might look like to do in-person again.
If you're afraid of going back in-person again, tell your therapist. This is important to open up about so that you feel comfortable about coming back in person if you do, and your therapist can give their professional opinion about what that could look like.
If you tried online and didn’t like it, don’t throw in the therapy towel altogether. You might prefer in-person and I would urge you: avoid using online therapy or a one-time bad experience as your measuring stick for all therapy (online, or in-person). Finding the right fit for you may take some trial and error.
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